Atonement
by Evil-Ekat
Summary: Bill finally wins. But when you have justified your existence surroundings the idea that you will take over, what does one do when their purpose is complete? Most would find another meaning in the after-life. But demons don't go to Heaven. Mabill. Rated T for graphic self harm.


**We all have our identity crises in life, evil demons (is there any other kind?) included. What would happen if he finally succeeded? Contains Mabill, although it's a tragic ending for Bill. Sorry! Perhaps there is a sequel in my mind, but it depends on what you guys think about this writing. This story js dedicated to all of those out there who ship Mabill. You, you are my people.**

**Genre: Tragedy/Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Romance**

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: Contains graphic self harm, and excessive use of the words "he" and "she."**

**Disclaimer: I not own Alex Hirsch's Gravity Falls, or the word "Azure-tur-pealean."**

* * *

This emptiness. It bothered him. What did one do when they had achieved their lives, or in his case, forevers goal? Most would say to start anew, or keep what he had worked so hard to get safe. But that was the problem. In the end, it was too easy.

With the Pines family out of the way, things fell into place like clockwork. The way most human beings wished happened to their often unpredictable lives. To him, it was just boring. He had justified his existence on the idea that he would be the one to unleash havoc on the world. And he had done so. Did that mean he no longer had a purpose? No meaning to anything at all? Nonsense, he was starting to sound like the flimsy thoughts of a human being. But for the record, if he did not, then what was he still doing here?

While most would end their lives, as to find a new definition in the beyond, he was immortal. Demons don't go to heaven. He stared intently down at his wrists. Perhaps this was a good place to start.

* * *

A smile of content slid across his face as the cool razor blade sank into the fragile skin around the inside of his wrist. He watched with morbid enjoyment as blood pooled around the incision. A sharp wave of stings spreaded through the area around the cuts.

More. A sudden itchiness spread through both his wrists. They begged for the cool bite of metal to sever them. He gladly complied, and soon many slices creeped their way up the inside of his arm. The blade sunk into a vein, and he moaned in pleasure as blood pooled around him.

He continued to bleed profusely and he admired it, sharp crimson against the marble-tiled hallways of his mind.

It was as then, the Pines girl found him slouched against the wall in a very scary, large pool of his own blood. Shocked, she tucked away her fears and drew a basin of water and sterile cotton bandages. He was dimly aware of the steaming water rinsing away the dried blood, and her tightly rolling the white bandages around and around, until no blood soaked through did not bother to remind her that he was immortal, and if it got too annoying he could heal it himself.

Instead, he silently observed , thinking twisted and dark thoughts, as he allowed her to catch him in a moment of weakness. He vaguely wondered why she would even help , her hands trembled the whole time, and her doleful brown eyes nervously flitted back and forth between the rest of him and his wrists, but there was more to it.

Having stopped her and her brother, he had sent the back to the part of his mind where he usually resided. Keeping them together was a dangerous mix, he put the now adolescent boy in a deep enchanted sleep, and for extra measure locked him away in a cell.

His sister was allowed to roam around, more or less free. It wasn't that he thought she was the lesser threat to him, anyone who could withstand the journals for so long without becoming corrupted was impressive, as the feat was next to impossible. And seeing her stirred something in him, deep and locked away. Seemingly harmless, but still residing over him.

She, on the other hand, was petrified of him. She could recognize and see the lust that sparked in his eyes, so achingly familiar in the eyesof those who had pursued her affections over the years. It scared her because this time, the was nothing there she could do should he realize it himself. He never so much as batted a hand at her, but the unspoken threat, that he would hurt her brother without hesitation, loomed over her.

Despite that, she came to his aid, and left as quickly as she had left. Now what? Back to wondering about what he was supposed to do in life? So that was what he went to do, sitting at a dinning table, intently staring off into space. He did not know how long he sat there. Hours, days, weeks, long enough for the cuts to heal into nothing more than lines, pale pink against his wrists.

Thoughts just relayed in a circle, over and over again, making less sense every loop , he decided that the solution laid elsewhere in his mind. Standing up and stretching, listening as all his bones snapped back into their places, he decided to walk around.

Soon he found himself walking towards her room, asking why, but never receiving a clear answer. Staring at the door, he paused wondering what had brought him here. Meer boredom, or something else? He jumped a little as the young woman opened the door. She also did so, having not heard anyone coming. Regaining his usual calm and collected composure, he asked;

"Would you care to join me for a walk?"

It was less of a question, and more of a statement. _You will join me for a walk. _Without waiting for the mandatory response of "yes" he set off, knowing she would follow. She noticed rather than his customary gentlemanly offer of his arm, (which also happened to not be an option) he strode ahead without pause, seemingly in nowhere particular. She slowed down a little, as to walk behind him.

The halls were far from narrow, but she did not want to walk near him. He noticed this and slowed his pace too, thinking she was planning on falling behind as to leave. She took smaller and smaller steps, and he mirrored her. Inwardly, she gave a sigh of defeat and frustration and speed up so she was next to him.

A curious glance at his face showed that rather than the expected victorious smirk he would normally wear for getting his way, was absent. In it's place, a far off distant look. They continued on their silent way, navigating the seemingly endless halls, every place looking the same as the next. Large polished marble floors and walls, so shiny and glassy one could see a slightly distorted reflection of themselves.

There was no ceiling, in it's place, the night sky broke through, glittering and mysterious. The pair stopped at a floor-to-non-existent ceiling painting of a beach, beautiful, but devoid of any human or animal life. Not much surprised her these days, so she allowed him to help her through the painting. Looking around the whole landscape was around her.

While the painting was beautifully and skillfully done, it could not compare to the real thing. It was about mid-day inside it, the sun hung over the cloudless blue sky, spreading light across the calm water and soft white sand. Without a word, they both took off their shoes and set along the shore, small waves lapping at their feet.

Breaking off from his thoughts at the moment, he looked down at her. She was staring out at the vibrant azure water that shifted and refracted in the light, changing from teal, to peacock, and then turquoise. He could tell she was thinking of a colour to describe the water, as she muttered to herself;

"Azure-tur-pealean"

Before shaking her head, smiling a little at the nonsense word. This also snapped him out of his reverie, and realizing he had forgotten to escort her, he offered her his arm and said;

"Sorry, I've been really distant lately..." He said, fading off at the word "distant." and staring back off into nowhere . As if she had a choice, she accepted, linking arms with him, shivering a little at the frigid cold that surrounded him despite the warm, humid air. Just as her nervousness was settling down, he cut into the silence;

"Humour me Shooting Star. What do you want from life? You don't want money, power, or even attention. You must have some clear goal, or way you try to justify why you're here. So what is it?"

She paused for a moment, thinking some things over before replying;

"I've never really tried to justify why I'm here. Isn't the fact that I am here, and not someone else enough? I just want to be my own person, and draw out the individuality in others too. I'm content with doing this, it keeps me happy. Why do we need a reason to be here?"

"Why would you keep an object with no purpose?" He replied.

"You don't. But you could rewrite what it's supposed to do, give it something new."

"But then what would you do when there's nothing left for it?"

She did not reply, pondering what to say. They continued their stroll down the beach, the sun at a lower point in the sky now, beating down at them. She found herself leaning closer to the cold aura that surrounded him. They stopped, looking far out at the waves and she said;

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

He gave a small chuckle, and resumed walking.

* * *

At first she thought it was her eyes, but surely, everything around them was becoming more and more white. The sound of the waves lapping around their feet had faded away, and the horizon and water morphed into one. These changes brought back her slight nervousness. She wasn't worried as she really should have been, he had never done anything more than gloat about finally succeeding. But it was enough for him to notice.

"It's just the end of the painting. " He said.

Soon there was nothing but white around them, the beach a distant memory. It was then, the first few snowflakes landed on her cheeks. A forest scene spread out before them. It was not like the large mixed woods of Gravity Falls, which had a variety of ancient trees, some so large one could build a road through them. These trees were evergreens, and while they were very tall, they did not grow nearly as wide.

A few feet of snow covered the ground, but their feet did not totally sink through it. It was then she realized that she wasn't cold. Despite the fact she had left her shoes back on the beach, a pair of boots were in their her realizing it, he had taken off his suit jacket and drapped it around her shoulders. It was surprisingly warm, and the fabric felt silky against her partially exposed shoulders. When she noticed this, he shrugged and said;

"You were cold."

The sincere look in his eyes said something more, they were asking for something else. A thank you? No, he was waiting for her to steer them back to the past conversation. So that was why he had asked her, he wanted her to do the same.

"Riddle me this, riddle me that. What's the purpose of the demon wearing the top hat?"

He smiled at he rhyme before his usual bored expression returned. She continued to speak;

"I might not know much, but to me, it seemed like you wanted complete control. But you have that now. Perhaps you're not pleased with it? Maybe there was something more you wanted from it all?"

"How'd you guess?"

"I'm a quick study of character. You're bored with what is more or less your life. You've spent all of eternity chasing after your goal, never actually expecting to reach it. But now that you have, there's nothing left for you." She stopped walking, "At least, there's nothing left you'd settle for to reinvent yourself into."

He stopped too and looked down at her. He placed a hand on her cheek, slowly brushing snow away from her face, and began to caress her cheek. She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath, wonder if this was then he would realize what so many had before. She shivered a little at the thought, there was still nothing she could do this time.

"For a person who doesn't know much, you sure know a lot Shooting Star."

He dropped his gaze and returned to walking along in the powdery snow. He stared back off into the distance, while she thought about what he had admitted to. What was he implying by this? Was he just simply bored with having what he wanted? Had he really thought he would always continue to near success before failing again? She shivered at the thought of having to fight him off, over, and over, forever and ever until there was nothing left.

"Is that your plan?" She thought to herself, "Destroy everything until it's just me and you?"

"You're shivering again." He said

She jumped and said;

"What? No I'm not."

"Yes you are. Am I really that menacing to you?"

The tone he used just about broke her heart, but she replied honestly;

"I'm terrified of you."

"Why?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"No. I haven't done a single thing to you except keep you away from your brother. Yet you still shiver as if I was short-stack."

She took a deep breath before starting;

"It's not that easy."

He shook his head.

"Of course it isn't. Is anything so simple in life?"

She didn't reply, and turned away from him.

"That's what I thought."

She tried to ignore the guilt that was beginning to follow her, but the way he concluded it just left her feeling strangely empty. They did not say anything as the snow melted around them. They were still in a forest, but this one was more like Gravity Falls. The pair continued until reached a rocky cliff.

Here, he shrugged out of his hold on her and walked over to the ledge. She stayed behind, not wanting to stand any near him than possible. The sun was low in the now pink sky, and was partially hidden by a mountain in the distance. Mimicking her rhyme, he said;

"Riddle me this, riddle me that. One last question from the man in the hat."

"Shoot."

"Why do people value their freedom so much? I've never spent a day of my life in any other way. I couldn't tell you despite all my years why."

"I couldn't really tell you either. I guess, deep down, freedom is what everyone wants. To choose what they do in life, who they associate with, what their purpose is." She said with a slight emphasis. "No one likes being told what to do, it's just an instinct I guess. Being forced to do something, perhaps it takes you away from what you want to do with your life."

"And if you have no purpose? "

"We always seem to come back to this don't we? If youtruly think you have no meaning, you move on. Where, it all depends on you."

"And if you have no where to go?"

She snapped at this. Angrily striding up to him, and turning his shoulders square to hers she said;

"Listen here you idiot! I'm starting to think your purpose is to search for a meaning forever!"

He flashed her a grin and pulled her close to him.

"What if my purpose is to find someone?"

"I'd say you were insane."

"-ly in love." He finished.

"It's only lust."

"How about you find out?"

She held his gaze for a long time, his eyes no longer vacant but deeper, showing something else. There was a hint of hope in them, but it did not shine too brightly. She found herself drawn to them, realizing something herself. Maybe, in another place, another time. But not here where there were too many past hurts and problems. He realized this too, and his grip faltered a turned to face the horizon again.

The sky was now a bright mix of pinks, oranges and reds, blending into each other perfectly. In the distance, the sign displaying the words "Mystery Shack" glinted. He took a shuddering breath and pulled away from her.

"If you love something, you set it free." He handed her a ring of keys, and pointed to a yellow skeleton key. "That will unlock the door, and to wake him up, just say "atonement."

Atonement. An ironically fitting word.

She looked up at him in surprise, cradling the keys.

"You'll be able to find your way. And the key is easy to remember because it's yellow..." He trailed off.

The expression on his face was heart breaking, and she debated staying for a moment.

"Don't you dare. You need to get back to your reality, even if it is an illusion. "

She nodded, but pulled him to face herself one more time. She placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and turned to walk away.

_I love you..._

_I love you too..._

He went back to facing the ledge. When he turned back, she was gone. And so was left back to his solitary existence once again. If he were to jump, he would be forced to continue on in more or less pain than he was before. He stood there until the sun set with his dreams. Staring up into the night sky, he saw a single shooting star streak across the night before dying out, and he let the tears fall.


End file.
